Let’s Make it Better.

Do you remember the campaign It Gets Better? In the early 2010’s, research started to show a drastic increase in suicides in LGBTQ+ youth (just to be clear, this was always happening, research simply caught up). As a response, the It Gets Better Project was created. Many celebrities started telling their stories of how life got better for them. The mission was to send awareness to LGBTQ+ youth that life does get better.

This June I have questioned that sentiment a lot. Can we really promise LGBTQ+ youth that life will get better and presumably less scary and less difficult for them? I wish I could and yet it seems that everywhere I turn, there are human rights being taken from us. As a woman and as a queer woman, I can’t help but question if life really is going to get better.

I am a therapist (maybe even your therapist), a mom, and a small business owner. I often feel like people are looking to me to tell them it’s going to be ok, that it will get better. And as badly as I want to be able to promise this, I simply cannot. Suddenly promising it’s going to get better feels like a form of gaslighting when everywhere we turn, we see the exact opposite.

If you are my client, you’ve probably heard me challenge some unhelpful thinking patterns by saying something like, “what control do you have in this situation?” When I was recently spiraling out about the state of our world (hi, yes, I spiral out too), I asked myself what I could do; what control do I have over any of this? 

I cannot promise every queer kid that it’s going to get better.
I cannot personally pass laws that would allow for trans people to get the care they need.
I cannot walk into any corporate American office and demand they reinstate DEI.
I cannot and will not lie to you and promise you that life is just going to get better.

In fact, if anything, I can promise you that tough times are ahead. Not only because of our political landscape but also because this is life: it ebbs and flows; it gets better and then it gets worse again. So, knowing that life has never been easy for the LGBTQ+ community and more so knowing that this particular June is particularly bad, I ask myself “what control do I have?”

What can I do as a mom? As a therapist? As a small business owner?

As a mom, I can inform and educate my kid. If I’m being honest, it’s easiest in my role as mom to maintain control with the current state of the world. I often find myself feeling more inspired to show up for my kid when I am feeling particularly hopeless about our society.

As a therapist, I can (and hopefully am) sitting in the pain with my clients. I can listen. I can empathize. I can ask what control they have.

Then there’s this thing where I’m a small business owner. At first, I felt a little overwhelmed when I asked myself what I could do as a small business owner. I am not going to lie: I am not making enough money to make a significant difference in the LGBTQ+ community as a whole. I found myself thinking, “what difference does it make?” “You don’t even need to address pride this year. Maybe it’s better not to.” “There’s really no control you have here.” I forced myself to stop.

What else could be true?

We cannot make a significant difference in everyone’s lives but maybe we could make a difference in a few.

It’s more important than ever to let queer kids know we’re here and we love them.

If I hadn’t had a therapist once gently prompt me to talk about my sexuality, I wouldn’t be here today.

Maybe just maybe Rooted can do something.

So, after some research and brainstorming with my team, we decided to commit to partner with the Pride Center of Western New York. Western New York is where I grew up and it just so happens that it is our second largest geographical hub for clients (with the first being New York City). Our partnership is starting in June but will continue in various forms throughout the year. 

This June, Rooted is donating 10% of our profits to the Pride Center of WNY with a committed donation of at least $1,000. If you want to add to this, please go to - . And, be on the lookout for how we will continue to partner with them throughout the rest of the year.

My hope is that this donation will aid the Pride Center to keep up the incredible work they’re doing to keep Western New York a safe, healthy, and satisfying place to live for all LGBTQ+ people.

I also hope that this partnership says to all queer folks: this is how we make it better. We may not know that it’s going to get better, but we definitely know it won’t get better if we do nothing. We can either watch it all burn or we can help make it better. Let’s make it better.